I will hold on to Your promises of Love..

I'm clinging to this song today. And I'm clinging to the fact that even though we question God's motives and timing sometimes, He has promised us love and He will not fail us. Today is hard, really hard, but I have to press on believing that the Lord has something very special for us, and all I need to do is press into Him and trust Him with everything I have..even in spite of my questions and confusion.

And as a wonderful friend has reminded me today,

"I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from Him." Psalm 62:1

An epic moment of sorts...

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, here, a somewhat positive ovulation predictor test!!! Although this is not as positive as we want today, the good news is that we are getting there! See that faint pink line in the square window? Look closely..That, my friends, is a sign of LH in my body =) That faint pink line should get darker within the next day or two! Hallelujah! Ovulation is on the horizon, people!! Have a blessed day.

Hello Hormones!

Speaking of hormones, mine are pretty out of whack these days, therefore affecting my memory and thought process. So in order to deliver coherent thoughts in this post, I am going to use a bullet-ed format. Bear with me =)

• The end of January consisted of my latest visit to my doctor. This was the first appt. hubby had ever attended with me. He behaved for the most part, but I think he was mostly fascinated..with the exam, the information, how tiny my male doctor is, the number of pregnant teens in the waiting room, on and on and on...I was grateful he went with me, and I think he was just happy to be there for me. He is a sweetie =) Anyhow, we got some answers finally. Basically, I'm am overloaded with Estrogen, and lacking in Progesterone entirely. Both hormones (hate that word) are necessary in order to have a regular cycle. I have too much "E", thus inhibiting my body's ability to ovulate, and no "P", thus preventing my body from having a period. Seems simple enough, right? Yeah, whatever. So without giving the long spill, I'll just let you know that Dr. S had to, once again, induce a period with Prog. pills, and he also put me back on Clomid (but a higher dosage) to make me ovulate. With this, we are all hoping and praying for one of these two outcomes: a) I will test positive for pregnancy at the end of this cycle, or b) if it turns out I am not pregnant, I will have a period on my own next month. If one of those doesn't happen, there is a possibility of another D&C in the near future (praying against that), along with Progesterone injections All of this goes back to PCOS, but this time he was happy with my weight (down almost 20 pounds), and he suggested I really cut back on sugar intake. Blah, blah, blah..I know.


• I am done with the progesterone pills, my horrific period has begun, and tomorrow I start another round of Clomid. I am cramping like a mother, and "moody" does not even begin to describe me right now. I can't remember little things, my appetite is weird, I get annoyed by everything, I cry at the drop of a pin, my ears feel like they're on fire, and the hot flashes have already arrived. But through it all, God seems to give me a sort of peace everyday by reminding me what this is all for. He knows exactly what we need to get us through when times are hard. He surrounds us with the perfect people, who pray for us, and know exactly what we're going through. He never ceases to amaze me.


• On a lighter note, our house is almost done. We have our closing date set for Feb. 24th, and we are soooo excited! Everything with the process has gone completely smooth so far. We feel so incredibly blessed to even have this opportunity so early in our lives. We ran by the other day to check on the progress of the house, and it hit us both: We are 22 years old, married, building and purchasing our very first home, and trying to have a baby. Seriously! I don't say any of that to brag at all. I say that to say, God is so good! We would not have any of this without Him! Again, he never ceases to amaze me. But yeah, the house is beautiful, and we are excited!

So that's it for now. I'm kicking myself in the butt these days to keep going with this blog. I just have to remind myself that it is important to write this stuff down. Write it all down, the good, the bad, and the ugly! Because I know one day, we will be on the other side of this, and although our situation gets hard and quite ugly at times, it is part of our journey and I want to remember every part of it.