Isaiah 54

Today has been a strange day.. Strange but sweet.. This morning I woke up to heavy rain outside, the house was quiet and dark. The hubbs had already left for work, and the dogs were quiet as mice. Strange because not many mornings in our household are like today's was. Most mornings, I'm up when Jeremy is getting ready for work, and the dogs are running wild through the house chasing one another (their early morning jitters). This morning just had a sweet vibe to it, though..and I don't really know how to explain it other than that. Just sweet. I started my coffee and let the dogs out to potty. Then I sat, in the dark with my Bible and read through Ruth because later in the day I was going to a bible study with old church friends where they would be covering that book. It was nice, and I had never actually read through all the chapters together before (there's only 4 for goodness sakes..shows how much I've neglected my Bible). Normally I would stop there, but I felt something pulling me to a passage of scripture that has weighed heavily on my heart lately. I've probably read it 20 times in the past week just because I feel like it should be the anthem over my life right now, and when I read it I feel so uplifted and ready to take on the world. But this morning was different. I wasn't going there because I wanted to. I felt like God was telling me to..like I could hear Him in my ear commanding me to read His words over again. This is the passage from Isaiah 54:1-3 in the Message:

"Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby.
Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth!
You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women." God says so!
"Clear lots of ground for your tents!
Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!
Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep.
You're going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family."...

Picking back up in verse 7:

Your Redeemer God says:
"I left you, but only for a moment. Now with enormous compassion, I'm bringing you back.
In an outburst of anger I turned my back on you -
but only for a moment.
It's with lasting love that I'm tenderly caring for you.
This exile is just like the days of Noah for me:
I promised then that the waters of Noah would never again flood the earth.
I'm promising now no more anger, no more dressing you down.
For even if the mountains walk away
and the hills fall to pieces,
My love won't walk away from you,
My covenant commitment of peace won't fall apart."
The God who has compassion on you says so.

And this time, as I re-read through that passage, it was like I could physically feel God wrapping his arms around me..And a peace I have never felt before came over me. And I literally sat there for a good 15 minutes just soaking it all in. Every word that I had read (and I read it out loud) touched a place in my heart that I had kept locked up and would not let God penetrate. I mean, what a promise! He was speaking directly to me in that, commanding me to sing! Basically telling me to get ready for what He is about to do in my life! And although He hasn't revealed the "when" or "how" to me, His word says that I will need elbow room for my growing family! And He says that no matter what happens along the way, or who walks away from me, His love will remain ever present! All I could do was sit there...and cry. And it was so sweet.

So then I put myself back together and went to this bible study about Ruth. So I get there, eat a good lunch, catch up with some old church friends and family, and we sort of do an overview of the study. After the study, some ladies asked if they could pray over me and for what Jeremy and I are going through. We all sat in the living room as these women laid their hands on my stomach and spoke life into me. And God made his presence known again. Such a calming, such a peace came over me, and I just knew that He was right there. I've always believed in prayer, but I'm not sure that I've always believed in the real power of prayer. But today I physically experienced God. It was strange, but it was so incredible.

I don't say all that to say that God made me pregnant today, or that suddenly tomorrow I'm gonna wake up pregnant..but I know that it's coming. And just as I was on the brink of giving up hope and always questioning if it will ever happen for us, God made himself very real in my life today. He literally rained down in my life today. I felt Him. I read His words, and I felt His promises deep down.