Updates!

Just a few things :)

• I've been talking a bunch about finalization being "right around the corner", but it literally is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. March 6th to be exact. To be honest, we didn't expect it to be so soon (mainly because of what we were being told), but we should've known that with the way timing has worked out throughout this entire process, finalization would be no exception. So in about two weeks, we will walk into the court house and hear the best news of our lives! We are ecstatic!

• With finalization comes a pretty hefty amount due that we still need to pay for this adoption. Time has not been on our side when it comes to having enough (time) to raise the funds, but there are a few things in the works that we are believing that God is going to use tremendously to allow people to pull together to help. Be on the look out in the next few days to see how you can help!

• Selah is almost 5 months old, and I cannot believe it. I feel like these months have gone by so fast that I barely remember what it was like in the first days. Lately I've been watching all of our videos and scrolling through every picture to take myself back. Part of me grieves a little over not soaking in every single moment, but then the rest of me is trying with all of my might to not let another 5 months slip away without doing just that. I am so thankful for the way that God has designed my little family. I am blessed to be able to stay at home with my sweet girl, and I will not allow a schedule, or circumstances, or anything else to cloud my perspective and steal me away from being fully present for her. All the bad days, the stress, or any other yuck is not worth it. She is worth it. And always will be.

• From the time we brought her home, we've had to go through adoption agency supervisory visits once a month. Basically all that means is that our adoption specialist comes to our house once a month until finalization, and interviews, observes, and takes notes on things like bonding/attachment, how we are adjusting, baby's development, etc.. Well thank God we just had our very last visit last week. We love our adoption specialist, but we are beyond happy that these visits are over. There is nothing like feeling like your every move with your child is being documented, and with our last visit came a great presence of freedom. We are ready to just fully embrace our roles as Selah's mom and dad, and sever the things that have made us feel like temporary caretakers.

• Lastly (for now), I will end with the fact that I am completely in love. The past few weeks with my daughter have really begun to show how much she recognizes me, wants me, and needs me. And there is something so rewarding about that. There is still a part of me that wonders, and longs to know what it feels like to bond with a baby growing inside for 9 months. If I gave birth, I wonder if our baby would look like me or my husband. Those thoughts exist, and probably always will. But it doesn't make me any less of a mother. Selah brings out the mommy inside of me, and her life fulfills the calling that has always been for my life. I look at her and I see my purpose. And now I know that that purpose goes beyond pregnancy or just having a baby. It goes beyond just being a mom, or wife. The purpose doesn't end with a title. I believe that me being a mom, specifically a mom to Selah, and adopting, and journeying all of this with my husband, that these are all just parts to the bigger picture of God's glory... God's glory in this life, on this earth, for His kingdom. As I watch her grow, and as I take care of her, I am overwhelmed by how much I love her. She is such a miracle. Such a beautiful creation, and I cannot wait to see what God calls her to in life. I am her Mom, and I am such a lucky lady.