Yesterday I went through our adoption folder and made a list of what we need to get done (paperwork, household stuff, other preparations) before we can bring a little one home. When I took a step back and looked at the extensive content of that list I became a tad overwhelmed. One of our first steps includes making a profile book about our marriage, beliefs, lifestyle, etc, complete with photos that will give birth mothers an idea of what life for their child will be like if we are chosen to be their adoptive parents. This, to me personally, is weighing heavily. I don't know about other couples or what they may go through in deciding what to put in theirs, but I get emotional at the thought. I can't imagine the kind of courage and strength it takes to carry a child, love that child, and then choose a plan of adoption for that little life. But what a selfless and beautiful thing it is! So trying to decide on what to include in our book that will give her a great first impression, and hopefully lead her to choose us, does not seem to do justice to the happiness that her selfless decision could bring to our lives. We have to include a letter to the birthparent(s) in our book. There are so many things I want to say, and narrowing these thoughts down to fit in a one and a half page letter is hard, to say the least.
It is difficult to even put into one thought what my heart feels about what we are about to go through. Every day I have to have a heart to heart with God. I need His guidance so that every response to every question we have to answer is reflective of Him living in us. I need to draw in on His strength to make it through strong and confident in my abilities as a mother, but to humble myself so that He can improve on my weaknesses. I need to be obedient so that He can continue to direct my paths with every decision. I need Him to teach me patience and to keep a good perspective through the hard times. I need His love to consume me, so that my life as well as other lives might be changed through this. Pray for us!!
3 comments:
Jess, I am praying that God gives you the words, and that when you sit down to write it, the words will simply flow. I am praying that the weight of everything and that the overwhelming feelings will be lifted. Just remember how God brought you to this point - how everything has come together and how you and Jeremy both know this is the right path. I know the adoption process is not a a cake walk - it will have its ups and downs. But because God has told you to do this, He will give you the grace, wisdom, ability to do it, everything you need!! Love you!
I'm excited to watch this journey unfold. I count myself blessed to be able to say I was here from the beginning!
Sis, I envy your faith. Just said a prayer for you and Jeremy. I know God is going to walk you guys down this road. Love you.
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