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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Updates

So a few things have happened since the last time I wrote:

Pregnancy wise, we are still not there yet, but we are on the road to a positive result. In May I finally called my doctor because I had gotten rid of my pill a few months prior and I still had not started my period. I was a little worried because I knew that without a period, there is no ovulation, which in turn means you cannot get pregnant. So my doc says that day to come on in to the office to figure out what is going on. They ran blood work, did an exam, went over my medical history...It turns out that I have what is called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which is a health problem that affects a woman's menstrual cycle, ability to ovulate, hormones, etc...all of which I have been dealing with the past 6 years. So my doctor tells me not to worry, I am still able to conceive, it is just going to take a little extra work in my case. Dr. S prescribed an estrogen overload pill to make my body have a period which I took for ten days, and indeed had a period..YAY. Then, Dr. S prescribed a fertility drug called Clomid to make me ovulate...Yay again. Doctor said there was about a 90 percent chance that I would be pregnant within the month if we tracked everything correctly, and if Jeremy and I did "it" on the days we were supposed to...Well after that month of dealing with extreme mood swings, terrible hot flashes, crazy nausea, prayer overload (if there is such a thing), and other symptoms, we are still not pregnant. I knew there was a possibility that this cycle would not work this time around, and I thought I would be more disappointed than I am if it didn't work. But God has been working on my heart a lot through this experience. He is teaching me patience, and above all else, to wait upon HIM. Wanting a child is an incredible feeling, that has at times taken over my ability to see things clearly. I know the situations that I am dealing with, and I know that according to medical science it is proven that my body is going to make it difficult for me to have a baby. These things, if I allow myself to dwell on them, can really get to a lady! I have to say that it is hard to hear from a medical professional that what you are dealing with is a complicated situation that will only get harder with age. I have spent many hours crying and feeling sorry for myself. But when I come back to it, why am I so worried? My Jesus has his hand in our story. Jesus says in Jeremiah 29:11 (The message version) "I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." I know this, and I have known it all along, but unfortunately we sometimes forget that He is in control, not us. We try so hard to do things on our own, and we put our trust in doctors and medicine, just things of the world. Only God can grant us the desires of our heart. He has blessed me thus far, so why have I not trusted that He will bless me with a baby? I mean He gave me a wonderful husband, a home to live in, He has blessed our finances..I have no reason not to trust Him. I say all this to say that I am trusting in Him now. I give it all to GOD. I mean we are still trying and doing our part, and I will be starting a new fertility cycle this week, but it is still ultimately up to our Creator of what will result from this. So just pray for us. We want God's will, not ours. We want a baby, and we pray that He will bless us with one this time, but if not, we know that God is up to something bigger than we can imagine. So that is that in that area. I'll update again later.

In other news, we sold Jeremy's truck. It was a complete blessing that it sold in this economy. I have to admit, I was not very optimistic that it would happen! We just decided that it was better, financially, not to have two vehicle payments every month. Although I am having to drive Jeremy to work and pick him up every day, it has been great so far. We are now able to save some money, and eventually we will pay cash for a little truck or something that Jeremy can drive for work. He only works about a mile or two from the house, so there are no worries right now. We have a brand new car that works fine as our only vehicle. I could see a little hesitation in Jeremy in the beginning about selling it, although it was his idea. He loved his truck, and you know how men can be about their vehicles! I just told him I didn't want him to feel like he was losing a part of his manhood. He's still a stud to me! But Jeremy's been great. I am so lucky to have one of the most compassionate men I have ever known as my husband. He is always so genuine to everyone, and loves to take care of people. He's wonderful. I am a blessed woman!

That's about it for now. I will update again as soon as we know more.